I want to be with someone who's not afraid to confront the unknown of our environment's future.
If relationships depend on a shared fantasy of the future, then global warming does more than unsettle our environment; it creates uncertainty in our interpersonal ones. |
 | | Kelsey Dake |
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I did not think about "dating" and "global warming" in the same sentence until the summer of 2020, when record-breaking wildfires led my then boyfriend and I to pack a pre-emptive go bag. Just as it had not occurred to me that I might have to quarantine beside a romantic partner, I had never thought about our having to flee together, either. I knew climate change was exacerbating wildfires — they had forced my family in Montana to evacuate before — but until that summer, I had the privilege of insulation. Global warming was something I could opt into reading or talking about, but I could also ignore it. Now, as we lined our windows with wet rags to keep out the air of Portland, Ore., which was suddenly the worst in the world, I understood global warming wasn't some abstract force "out there," it was with us in the apartment, disrupting my domestic life. |
In 1920, Marcel Proust wrote, "A change in the weather is sufficient to create the world and oneself anew." In my essay this week, I explore how the extreme weather of the last few years has influenced my search for romantic partnership. I don't just want to be with someone who believes in the science of climate change; I want to be with someone willing to grapple with its effects on our shared life. It's not just about whether we want to have children; it's about what sort of future we want to carve for ourselves in this uncertain time. |
I'm not alone in feeling my love life has been shaped by the past few years of climate disaster and pandemic. In 2022, global warming was the top concern for OkCupid daters. |
What might "climate compatibility" look like? I don't think it means a couple needs to have equal levels of environmental anxiety, but I do think we all deserve to feel understood and safe within our romantic relationships. Not just literally, when facing evacuations in extreme weather, but figuratively, when we express our dreams or fears about tomorrow. We are facing an unprecedented problem, and it needs unprecedented solutions. Relationships can help distract and insulate us from the outside world, but I think they can also help us to learn how to better face it. |
| READ ERICA'S FULL ESSAY HERE | | |
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