Sunday Best: The sixth love language

For some people, five doesn't cut it.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story February 13, 2022 Words of affirmation. Quality time. Receiving gifts. Acts of service. Touch. There are five established love languages, and often, you and your partner might not speak the same one. But hiding somewhere in that definitive list are different needs that we may not easily recognize. "I must accept that my real love language is soothing my fear and I may never get what I want in that mien," Lisa Taddeo wrote in a guest essay this week. Taddeo asked her husband, Jackson, to take a quiz at the back of Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages" so that they could determine what each of theirs was. His was touch; hers, she thought, was acts of service. But upon further contemplation, she realized that may not quite be the case. Or at least not as it's defined in The List. "Perhaps when I say I want acts of service," she wrote, "what I really mean is that I want Jackson to show me: I am here for you. I am not going anywhere. Nothing else will ever happen to anyone you love. You will not die before your child is ready for you to leave her. You will have one of those long, blessedly insipid lives, and one day I may even do something on time." How would you define your love language? — Alexandra March See the True Cost of Your Cheap Chicken Modern poultry farming keeps chicken cheap but steals the dignity of both animal and farmer. By Lucy King, Adam Westbrook and Jonah M. Kessel Illustration by Anthony Gerace; Photograph by Getty Images America in Focus 12 Economically Insecure Americans on What Keeps Them Up at Night Poverty warps the way we see the world: Every broken promise from a politician reinforces the feeling that we live in a system designed to thwart those who most need its help.  By Laura Reston Dalbert B. Vilarino Guest Essay Radical Ideas Need Quiet Spaces Visibility is one thing. Actually mustering the power to fundamentally rearrange society — that is something else. By Gal Beckerman Illustration by The New York Times; Photograph by Paul CHARBIT via Getty Guest Essay In the Jewish Tradition, the Words We Choose Matter Jews in America are wary and weary. By Lauren Holtzblatt Tallulah Fontaine Guest Essay Marriage Made Me Let Go of My Dreams. Good. What if joy is found in not getting exactly what we want? By Esau McCaulley Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT EDITOR'S PODCAST PICK The New York Times The Sandy Hook Father Who Refused to Let Alex Jones Win Conspiracy theories have loomed over the school shooting in which his son, Noah, died. Leonard Pozner reflects on how the truth can triumph online. By 'Sway' Subscribe Today New York Times Opinion curates a wide range of views, inviting rich discussion and debate that helps readers analyze the world. This work is made possible with the support of subscribers. Please consider subscribing to The Times with this special offer. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for Sunday Best from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018