Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Opinion Today: Beauty amid violence

How a wartime wedding can remind us of our humanity.
Author Headshot

By Susannah Meadows

Senior Staff Editor, Opinion

Like most women I know, I'm over beauty. It's hard to find value in something that's mattered more than it should for so long.

And then I read Alyona Synenko's lovely guest essay about the meaning of beauty in wartime. It did the thing that I always look for in pieces: It gave me a new way of thinking about something I thought I understood.

Synenko is from Odesa but is currently based in Nairobi, where she is a regional spokeswoman for the International Committee of the Red Cross. After spending 13 years in conflict areas, she now has to grapple with horror at home and has spent part of the war on emergency assignment in Ukraine, based in Kyiv. Visiting her family in Odesa, she saw her city drained of life, its streets choked with dirty sandbags.

In Ukraine, she writes, any attempt to plan for the future was drowned out by uncertainty and fear. But then she got a call from her aunt: Synenko's cousin was getting married in Odesa. Synenko knew she couldn't miss the wedding, even though it meant flying from Nairobi to Moldova and walking across the border into Ukraine.

Soon the excited mother of the bride was texting pictures of dresses, cakes and rings. Synenko started browsing Instagram accounts of clothing designers still in Odesa, on the hunt for her own fabulous dress. She realized that the future did exist if they could plan for it.

"The way we imagine lives in war-torn countries is shaped by news coverage, often images of suffering and violence," Synenko writes. "Wars create pain, uncertainty and fear. But survivors can't live on pain and fear alone."

ADVERTISEMENT

On the day of the wedding, she donned a shiny red dress that was "deliberately over-the-top," as she puts it, and high heels, which she usually does not wear. Her feet ached, but it was worth it. As she writes:

"Today I hoped that the glamour of dressing up and holding flowers would challenge the emptiness of war. I wanted to claim the right to something unnecessary and pretty at a time when electrical blackouts were about to start. Beauty brings joy. And living amid violence, when it is easy to forget that joy exists, beauty becomes a lifeline to normality."

Most of the seats in the wedding hall were empty. Synenko was one of six family members in attendance. They celebrated at a rooftop restaurant, overlooking the glittering Black Sea. They pretended not to be afraid, made promises to the future and reveled in the beauty — and normality — that was theirs for one day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here's what we're focusing on today:

More From Opinion

JAMELLE BOUIE

Republicans Hate Everything About Trump's Dinner With Ye and Fuentes Except Trump

The episode shows that the G.O.P. isn't even close to done with the former president.

By Jamelle Bouie

Article Image

MICHELLE GOLDBERG

Antisemitism's March Into the Mainstream

Dining with a white supremacist, Trump demolishes another taboo.

By Michelle Goldberg

Article Image

TRESSIE MCMILLAN COTTOM

Help Black Farmers, Who Know Hyperlocal Doesn't Mean Fancy

This holiday season, help the farmers and food producers who make possible the dishes that mean something to you.

By Tressie McMillan Cottom

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

Can We Really Love Our Children Unconditionally?

It was foolish to think that taking piano lessons with my sons would be emotionally uncomplicated. Or perhaps that's why I sought it out.

By Ruth Whippman

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

How the Supreme Court Is Erasing Consequential Decisions in the Lower Courts

The pace of these actions has increased in the past 22 months, neutralizing important civil rights and civil liberties decisions.

By Lisa Tucker and Stefanie A. Lindquist

Article Image

The Hidden Costs of Cheap Meat

The animal rights activist Leah Garcés discusses how modern meat production harms animals, people and the environment.

By 'The Ezra Klein Show'

Article Image

LETTERS

Puberty Blockers for Transgender Youths

Readers discuss the benefits and risks of puberty blockers. Also: Donald Trump's dinner with antisemites; robots in the workplace.

Article Image

ADVERTISEMENT

Subscribe Today

New York Times Opinion curates a wide range of views, inviting rich discussion and debate that help readers analyze the world. This work is made possible with the support of subscribers. Please consider subscribing to The Times with this special offer.

Games Here is today's Mini Crossword, Wordle and Spelling Bee. If you're in the mood to play more, find all our games here.

Forward this newsletter to friends to share ideas and perspectives that will help inform their lives. They can sign up here. Do you have feedback? Email us at opiniontoday@nytimes.com.

If you have questions about your Times account, delivery problems or other issues, visit our Help Page or contact The Times.

Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance.

You received this email because you signed up for the Opinion Today newsletter from The New York Times.

To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences.

Subscribe to The Times

Connect with us on:

facebooktwitterinstagram

Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices

LiveIntent LogoAdChoices Logo

The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018

No comments:

Post a Comment