Thursday, December 22, 2022

Opinion Today: You can’t say that! (Or can you?)

We asked 4,423 Americans which words they are (and aren't) comfortable saying.
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By Jessica Bennett

Contributing Editor, Opinion

"Gypsy": the name of a popular song by Fleetwood Mac, ​shorthand for a person who is itinerant, or ​an offensive slur​​?

"Unhoused": a way of talking about people without a home that doesn't hold the stigma of "homeless," or an unnecessary and confusing euphemism for the same thing?

"Folx": a more inclusive way of addressing a group, or an overly intellectualized spin on an already gender-neutral term?

​The rules of language seem to be ever shifting these days, with genuine confusion over what a well-meaning person can say without offending someone​​.

Many of us struggle with this on a practical level, ​especially around this time of year. ​Gathered around holiday tables, a ​​neighbor uses a word that makes you cringe or a ​cousin, one semester into college, flashes a disapproving glare. You mean you didn't know that calling something "crazy" was a violent, ableist slur?

As a writer, I think about these shifts probably more than is healthy. How do ​I effectively, but also respectfully, write about certain groups of people? When should I take into account individual preferences for words or titles, even when they ​make things harder for readers to understand? Who makes these rules? Who should make them? (And why aren't they distributed?) And how much of our changing linguistic choices are happening only among an elite few? ​

I often interrupt this spiral by reminding myself of successful, and important, efforts to change language from the past. In the 1970s, for instance, feminists fought to "de-sex" language. Terms like "policeman" became "police officer." "Stewardess" became "flight attendant."

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This was ultimately a good thing, and many of these terms have stuck. ​And yet these days, in an effort to be ​inclusive​​ (a word that, like "diversity" before it, seems to have lost all meaning), it can seem as if we have lost the plot — arguing over pronouns while trans rights are ​eroded; debating whether "differently abled" or "neurodivergent" or "able-bodied" or "person with a disability" is the most sensitive language, ​while millions struggle for basic support and safety; ​​​or dragging each other for using ​outdated abortion​ language ​​instead of actually fighting for abortion rights.

Language is a diagnostic, the linguist Robin Lakoff once told me; it reflects the beliefs of a particular moment in time. And, sometimes linguistic relics need a necessary push out the door.

On the one hand, it's sobering to see just how much of American English is rooted in mockery​ and -isms — or at the very least can send misleading messages​. "Lame," for something uncool, was once a word to describe a person with real physical impairment. "Peanut gallery​" comes from the areas in ​the back of ​vaudeville-era theaters where ​B​lack people ​typically sat​. "Seminal" — a word for greatness — comes from "semen," which is Latin for "seed." (So does this imply that only those who possess "seed" are destined to be great?)

On the other hand, to what extent are we just tripping over euphemisms?

This week, my colleagues and I decided to test that question. With the help of the polling firm Morning Consult, we asked a representative sample of over 4,000 Americans how they'd respond to a handful of words whose "rules" we believe are still unsettled.

Programming note: This newsletter will be off from Saturday, Dec. 24, and return on Tuesday, Jan. 3.

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