Saturday, May 20, 2023

Opinion Today: What do we mean when we say something is “the best”?

And can you find happiness in the best toaster or hair dryer?

People have always felt lost, but the search for quantifiable, certified answers is now created by the existence of the answers themselves: a perfect number of wedding guests; the right place to live; the best age to be alive (it's 36).

Tracy Ma

By Rachel Connolly

I used to think that I didn't really relate to the idea of searching for the best things. In fact, I saw the kind of people who do that, and especially those who do so fanatically, as almost my natural opposite: an object of anthropological interest, bordering on bemusement.

My standards are, generally speaking, not exacting. I never spend more than a few minutes choosing what I want from a menu. I will meet you for a drink in the gimmicky bar by the train station (as it happens, I did this with a friend this week). If one of my mediocre appliances starts to break, I dread the search for its replacement. I picture myself sitting inside on a beautiful day hunched over my computer in a dark room, perusing an ugly price comparison website. I have not owned a toaster for what I now realize is five years because of this.

The idea of this search for the best as applied to more nebulous categories (best holiday destination, best number of children, restaurant with the best view) seemed, if anything, even stranger. I saw myself, slightly smugly, as separate from this culture of relentless optimization.

But while speaking to friends and writing my guest essay this week, I realized I don't think any of us really are. I have devoted endless research to clothes, hair products and makeup, always clamoring for brighter, better options. Recently I accidentally bought strongly and unpleasantly scented lipstick because I was enamored of the promise of a "new improved formula."

The interesting thing, as I discuss in the essay, is that we all have certain things we care a lot about and that we want to feel some sense of control or guarantee of. The more interesting thing, which is hard to admit to ourselves, is that having such a guarantee isn't truly possible. Learning to live with that reality might make us happier than a "best" anything would. (Except if I managed to find the perfect foundation setting powder, of course).

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