 | By Cornelia Channing Editorial Assistant, Sunday Opinion |
One thing about me is that I love to crash a party.
Wedding receptions. Fund-raisers. Family reunions. Children's birthdays. Fourth of July barbecues. Fiftieth wedding anniversaries. You name it.
I haven't done it in a few years, but it used to be a fairly regular part of my life. I grew up in a town on Long Island where — nearly every weekend throughout the summer — someone somewhere was throwing a big party. And, though I can't quite remember how it started, at some point, when we were in high school, my older sister and I got into the habit of attending these events uninvited. |
We would show up in our best clothes, drink expensive wine and mingle with strangers — outwardly feigning nonchalance, while inwardly feeling thrilled by our little con. Sometimes we made up stories about ourselves, sometimes we didn't talk to anyone and simply observed. Shockingly, we were never found out. Or maybe some of the hosts noticed and were simply too nice to kick us out. |
Looking back, most of the parties themselves were not so interesting. They were your typical fancy summer fare. What was fun was the sense of risk and adventure. The rule-breaking. At any moment, we might be caught, exposed. We shouldn't be there, but we were. |
In a guest essay today, the writer and psychoanalyst Jamieson Webster argues that these small, everyday acts of transgression are more profound than we may think. They are, in fact, integral to our human-ness.
"I find that it's when we dwell on our secret enjoyments that we learn the most about ourselves," writes Webster.
She argues that we live in deeply moralizing times, and reports that many of her patients are wracked with guilt and anxiety about not being "good" enough — and that one solution to such anxiety is to release that pressure altogether.
Transgressive acts, even small ones, can help us do just that. By creating an internal tension, they remind us that "we are contradictory creatures, wondrously and terrifyingly so." |
What emerged was a portrait of human complexity, and a tribute to the salutary role that small acts of everyday defiance play in otherwise responsible, rule-abiding adult lives. |
This was an immensely fun project to work on, and one that I hope will encourage readers to reflect on how they might cultivate or embrace small transgressions in their own lives. |
I, for one, am looking forward to spending my Labor Day weekend with my sister, dolled up in our best outfits, drinking a stranger's wine.
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