Monday, May 8, 2023

Opinion Today: Choosing not to have children is nothing new

Women have been making that choice for centuries.
Author Headshot

By Lauren Kelley

Senior Staff Editor

Like other women who've chosen not to have children, I've received my share of well-meaning if unhelpful advice.

You'll regret it when you're older.

But you're missing out on one of life's great experiences!

It's OK to change your mind, you know.

To which I usually say: I appreciate the concern, but I promise — I'm good.

As Peggy O'Donnell Heffington makes clear in a guest essay for Times Opinion, I'm far from alone in feeling that way — and not just among my fellow millennials, whose reproductive decisions have stirred up something of a moral panic. Throughout history, Heffington writes, women have chosen not to have kids, sometimes because they were unable to but in many cases because, for any number of reasons, they did not want to.

Heffington notes that modern birth control methods and abortion access have certainly made it easier for many women to avoid having children, but "they hardly gave women the idea that they might want to do so."

"Women have needed no help coming up with that idea all on their own for centuries," she writes.

It's valuable to be reminded that while childlessness among women might not be the norm, it is neither new nor rare — and that society's skepticism toward childless women has always been there, as well.

The next time someone asks me why I'm not having kids, maybe I'll say: I appreciate the concern, but like centuries of women before me, I promise — I'm good.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ad

Here's what we're focusing on today:

More From Opinion

PAMELA PAUL

On 'Succession,' Marriage Reveals Its Sting

Marriage is where the HBO series "Succession" hits viewers the closest.

By Pamela Paul

Article Image

SERGE SCHMEMANN

Is Mr. Putin's Russia Worse Than the Soviet State?

Vladimir Putin has made himself the personal embodiment of the Russian state.

By Serge Schmemann

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

Is Red State Gun Reform in Sight? Tennessee Is About to Find Out.

Six weeks after the Nashville school shooting, our governor may finally do what his state truly wants.

By Margaret Renkl

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

Why Biden Should Not Negotiate With Kevin McCarthy on the Debt Ceiling

Ideally the president can find a way to extend discussions around the debt ceiling and fiscal issues.

By Daniel Pfeiffer

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

Spoiler Alert: Science Indicates Spoilers Don't Spoil Anything

The truth is, we are just as likely to get caught up in a story even when we know what is coming.

By Anna-Lisa Cohen

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

The Unfortunate, Unintended Consequence of the Inflation Reduction Act

The I.R.A. will spur the takeover of our infrastructure by private entities, particularly large global asset managers, with likely negative consequences.

By Brett Christophers

Article Image

DAVID FRENCH

Tucker Carlson's Dark and Malign Influence Over the Christian Right

The more the Christian right latches on to cruel men, the more difficult it becomes to argue that the cruelty is a bug, not a feature.

By David French

Article Image

GUEST ESSAY

Why I Changed My Mind on the Debt Limit

Congress shouldn't be able to invoke an arbitrary dollar limit to force the president to do its bidding.

By Laurence H. Tribe

Article Image

ADVERTISEMENT

Ad

Subscribe Today

New York Times Opinion curates a wide range of views, inviting rich discussion and debate that help readers analyze the world. This work is made possible with the support of subscribers. Please consider subscribing to The Times with this special offer.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ad

Games Here are today's Mini Crossword, Wordle and Spelling Bee. If you're in the mood to play more, find all our games here.

Forward this newsletter to friends to share ideas and perspectives that will help inform their lives. They can sign up here. Do you have feedback? Email us at opiniontoday@nytimes.com.

If you have questions about your Times account, delivery problems or other issues, visit our Help Page or contact The Times.

Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance.

You received this email because you signed up for the Opinion Today newsletter from The New York Times.

To stop receiving Opinion Today, unsubscribe. To opt out of other promotional emails from The Times, manage your email preferences.

Subscribe to The Times

Connect with us on:

facebooktwitterinstagram

Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices

LiveIntent LogoAdChoices Logo

The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018

No comments:

Post a Comment